"Tell Me That Things Will Be Okay"

It’s crazy to now realize how blind I have been. You’ve lead me on since the beginning; what made me even think that this year, you’d change?  

I’m done playing your games. I’m done with you thinking you have a hold on me, because you don’t. Not anymore. I guess there really was a reason to why my mom couldn’t stand you when she doesn’t even know you. I guess there really was a reason to why I gave you the nickname “jerkface”— I think you should be promoted to “dickhead” instead.
But, I wont be a bitch and start crap with you. I’ll still talk to you, but I won’t mess with you like before. Maybe you’ll realize that I know about all this. If that’s the case, don’t you dare try being nice to me and try to win me back, ‘cause you won’t win. You lost me.
You know, your idiocity also opened my eyes enough to realize that you really aren’t worth my time, but I know someone else who is.
He’s been in my life for years now. He’s always been a sweetheart to me, even if he teases me about my height. He and I have so many similarities. It makes me think back to last year when you’d hang out with him and myself; and almost the entire time, he and I wouldn’t shut up. He and I pretty much never shut up when we’re together. Hell, we pretty much spent the entire night of Winter Formal together. I don’t know why it took me this long to realize that I feel something different with him than I have ever with you.
I hope that maybe I can be lucky, and prove to you that you aren’t as good as you think you are. I hope that I’ll be able to knock you off of that cocky pedestal of yours and show you that I found someone who actually does accept me for who I am.



Ugh!!! Why? Why?! Why am I feeling this way? I thought I was over you…I guess I was wrong…

Ugh!!! Why? Why?! Why am I feeling this way? I thought I was over you…I guess I was wrong…



Honestly don’t think this will matter to any of you, but I’ve gotta get this off my chest…. 

There are so many reasons to why I wish I could go back in time and slap myself in the face with a metal chair!! I started thinking about Brad (my crush, who’ve I’ve known since 6th grade) the other day and I believe I made the BIGGEST mistake last year. I’ve liked him since 8th grade, and I kinda had been in denial about it until last year. At winter formal, I kept insisting that he and I should dance —which did work— but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way as I did. Plus I never saw him much last year. Well, that night was awesome…but some weeks later, I met my freaking ex! When I started dating him, Brad wouldn’t really talk to me much…
UGH!!!!!!! I made such a mistake, didn’t I? I think I might have ruined my chances…
…I did see Brad all this year, and we’ve talked more, so I dunno what that means —and he gave me his number—
So what could this mean? Do I still have a chance?
…Oh Brad, I’m so sorry if I hurt you…